An Introduction to Quintessentially She
Selfie: ME!....Sheela Adhar with my geode wallpaper!
Who am I ?
Hi I am Sheela, She to my friends. I am the face behind all that is Gifitee. I am burning, burning with so much to share with you!
"A woman on fire is a wonderful thing if you are dreaming of a bright new future. a life sustaining future. burning woman is a guiding light, a beacon of hope, a trailblazer for those of us who dream beyond the strangulation of patriarchy" (Lucy Pearce, 2016, Burning woman)
I am a 45 year old daughter, lover, mother, grandmother, housewife, crafter of much, healer of sorts, artist, writer of poetry & articles and I hold a degree in Classical studies, I revel in my spirituality a lot in meditation and crafting with intention. Yes, yes a nice long list of loveliness, you might think! It's not all roses though! Now, let me be brutally honest about my health. I am hypothyroid, over-weight, experience occasional bouts of CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), anxiety, self confidence issues, negative thought patterns. I have suffered severe depression & lost my father to suicide when I was 16 years old. In addition, I was a fairly heavy smoker and drinker until recently. I could go on about my personal experiences, there is so much more to me than this little synopsis! I'm sure parts of it will resonate with some of you reading this article. Shit happens eh? But don't be put off! I do practice yoga and meditation as part of my daily routine and walk everywhere for as long as I can too! And on the brighter side, I have a wonderful partner who loves and supports me, a beautiful daughter who chose us to be her parents and a gorgeous granddaughter who is the most effervescent part of our lives. Now that is good medicine! . Love is a healing balm!
It has taken me some real soul searching, burning, spiritual medicine, a change in attitude toward myself and how I view life to be able to list all of the above and write it for all to see. You see, I have learned a lot to share, I have a lot to say & I want you to join me and enjoy this journeying. It won't all be serious. There will be tears and laughter, joy and pain, as is the journeying of us all. I wish to hold this space open for us all to be fully present in our truth, as others have done for me.
"Medicine woman's role is not to fix us so we can carry on , but to hold us as we transform.... She is the inner midwife, shaman, grandmother, doula, the one who is with-woman. She sits by our side in the dark and holds space for the fullness of us to emerge"
(Lucy Pearce, 2018, Medicine Woman)
Where to begin? New Year 2019
At Samhain / Halloween, my personal favourite celebration and annual intention raising event, the idea of publishing a journal style article series came to me. It has taken time to work on and decide what to include and will continue to be a work in progress, a little like me. During my immersion into the regeneration process of the cold season, I decided that the beginnings of this new venture could wait until after I had completed the 'Turning Wheel of the year' series of articles, at Yule, and after the festivities when my body had settled into its rhythm again. I’d been on and off grid a lot during the few months of the cold season, to allow myself time to refocus on what I am doing in my life, rather than what was occurring on social media. It has been a time of reflection, awakening to the skills I have and beginning to work with them once again, which I have totally enjoyed. The unfurling of the lotus petals begins with inner workings....
I wanted to ease into 2019 with less immediate expectation and more strategy and method to begin my year. I have development plans afoot, personal and professional. I want them to see them through and succeed this year and thereafter. After many years of not doing so, I wish to write from my heart space, rather than my head! writing from a place of authenticity, reflecting my personality and thoughts, opinions and the reality of my one true voice,
Hahahahaaa this will be fun!
Its all too easy to slip back into academic writing, but that really isn't where I want to be, whilst I embark on this new venture. I have decided to use my own initiative and create the simplest of ways in which I can present my writing. By reading aloud to myself, I can hear ME, my own voice rather than the academic or article writer I have become. I am now open to receive and opening up to sharing from that delicate place which resides inside of us all. The place of my heartfelt feelings, the joy, exasperation, passion, anger, the self, the ebbs and flows which resonate. Yes, I have researched and written. Don't get me wrong! I believe in what I write, or I wouldn't be writing about it, but to really write from this place of my heart is something I have wanted to do for such a long time. My biggest hurdle has been the fear to do so. Fear, of failure, embarrassment, ridicule, you know all the things which come from the ego mind like negative self talk, mind chatter, lack of self esteem. Well I'm not going to say I'm totally rid of that old pattern, but I am en route to a better way of thinking and I'm burning to share it all with you! The opening lotus petals the have intention to bloom....
Intention...
My intention is to develop my personal blog article series and writing further. I wish to present the truth about myself, quirkiness and all, laying myself bare, being brutally honest about life and myself. This may include, the progress of my own personal health, menstrual cycle, moon cycles, feelings, personal opinions, lifestyle, issues around one or more life choices I make and challenges in all areas, as the year progresses. I will also be developing my sacred spaces blog further by exploring local ancient places of interest and writing about them too, as I believe this to be part of the journey I am embarking on, Excited!
Oh bloody hell YES! I've said it now, its out there with the universe! And so it is!!!!!.
Life is a bit like a spiral or ring composition, you revisit your starting point. You consolidate what you have already learned and amalgamate knowledge with what you are learning in the present, adding to the process of the cycle that is essentially you! I want to show this development and what it truly means to follow your heart space.
So, this goes some way to an introduction to my next blog series, which still requires a name other than ‘diary of a…’
And so it begins...
I’m putting this blog out there as an informative journal for those who are curious and a journal of help and encouragement to those who are experiencing something similar. It will ultimately be my own self help manual, my very own 'herbal tea bag', my ‘this is my bullshit free dialogue with my mind, body and soul’ blog.. Why? Because I'm fed up with being what I'm 'supposed' to be and being quiet about it. Fed up of having my dreams and hopes quashed by people who claim to be something they are not, but who, like me have hidden their true selves behind whichever curtain of conformity they have chosen for themselves. Those who are now suffering with regret which comes out as a 'sort it out' attitude. I'm fed up of being told that my voice doesn't matter for whatever excuse given by the outdated patriarchal system we still live under. I'm fed up of believing that I'm a failure because of who I am or not in the eyes of others! And I'm tired of the self doubt, self sabotage , fear of failure and exhaustion that causes my mental health to take such peaks and dips. I am ready to step up and own my truth, to spread my voice and heart to those who are ready for the rawness of my true self. I am ready to right some wrongs in life which I have been too fearful of standing against!
Wow! I've said it now and that really is something, I can tell you!
I thank authors Lucy Pearce (Burning Woman & Medicine Woman) and Maria Pinkola Estes (Women Who Run With Wolves) for opening my eyes, confirming and encouraging me to be fearless enough to follow my path in this way!
And here it is again! Doubt creeps in like ivy and inertia spreads!
Not long after writing the first part of this article, I had some serious self doubt issues, believing myself inadequate and developed a 'well hell! What do I have to say that other people will want to hear?' attitude. Then came more confirmation in the guise of an article about writing from a place of authenticity, by a wonderful author on Facebook, Juliet Platt, author of The journal writers handbook. I quickly joined the fb group and have found that I am supported as a writer speaking from a place of truth....'juicy' was what I believe she called it! So my eternal gratitude to Juliet for writing that article and finding a bod like me to encourage, who was just at the edge of despair!
I found this quote of encouragement in Juliet Platt's book as soon as I opened it :
"The moment you begin to write...you are making a declaration of independence, determining to think for yourself, to leave a record of the person you actually are, as against the person that other people would like you to be"
Dermot Bolger
Irish Times
20th August 2009
More confirmation!!!
So here goes the intention setting again....
I want to be honest with myself, learn something everyday, be creative, have respect for and show love for myself and this planet we live on . I want to be able to look back and say that I have learned and consolidated my knowledge, and that I have shared it with others. I want to infuse my life with the essence of what makes me happy. I want to be my authentic self, unapologetically ME! I want to smile more, see the beauty of all things including me. I want to be able to release and recognise when it is time to let go of those things in my life which hold me back.I want to step up, be present, be fearless! AND I want to help other people to do the same as I am doing, standing in truth!
I think I've reached the age of Fuck it! This is me,
If I want to do something I haven't done before then its time to suck it and see!
If I want my voice to be heard, read on....Welcome to Quintessentially She!
In my next few articles I shall be looking at the spiral which has brought me back to a place of beginnings. I will be writing about my releasing of old habits, and embracing my age and looks regardless of societal norms and I am embarking on a mission about certain women's health checks, which us women are sometimes too scared to attend . It won't all be so serious, I want you to chuckle with me along the way, because there is no better way to look at life than from the brighter side! And Yes this can include the men in our lives! its time we all understood each other on a more raw level than what we have been conditioned to do!
The rest is yet to come.... I look forward to you joining me on this journey.
Bright Blessings to you all
Sheela Adhar
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credits:
Pearce, L. 2016, Burning woman, Womancraft Publishing, Cork
Pearce, L. H. 2018, Medicine Woman, Womancraft Publishing, Cork
Platt, J, 2013, The Journal Writers Handbook, CreateSpace,
All publications are available to buy through Amazon